remembering sunday
by goosepickle
Summary: ally dawson left miami and headed for the east coast, leaving everything behind. even austin moon. but what happens when five years later, she realizes she left her heart in miami?
1. introduction

**This is a different take on a story I started a while back and never finished, so I've brought it this way, hoping I can finish it.**

**If it's hard to tell, this introduction is in Ally's point of view, but it's the only chapter that is and that will be.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I wasn't sure where exactly I was headed to. Or where exactly I needed to be. I just knew that I needed to get out of Miami, Florida, as quick as I possibly could.

When I pulled into the Miami International Airport, The guilt burned the inside of my stomach. Because I knew leaving my friends behind wasn't the answer to my fears.

Wasn't facing your fears some big spiel in middle school?

I guess when he traumatic endurance of embarrassment of junior high had all been blocked out, that lesson went with it.

But who knows? Maybe I would be back in a day or two, maybe a few weeks at the maximum.

Hands trembling beyond belief, I took in a deep breath as the taxi I was sitting in pulled into the airport parking lot. I had already explained to my mother and father before I left my house that I had to leave, also informing them as to why I was bolting out of my hometown so quickly.

They understood. Sort of.

There was a lot of yelling. A lot of crying. They tried to stop me, but I wouldn't budge.

Miami was suffocating me. Relationships were suffocating me. Everything.

Getting out of the state was something I needed to do.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, the cab driver's rough voice pulled me from my thoughts. "That'll be twenty-eight dollars and thirty three cents, miss."

"Oh, right," I smiled tightly at the older man, fishing a twenty and a ten out of my purse.

"Here's your change. Enjoy your flight," the man waved at me, placing a crisp dollar and a few coins in my hand while popping the trunk open for me to retrieve my luggage.

"I'll try."

I swung the bright yellow door open, feeling the warm Miami air blanket my face.

I had to keep telling myself how much I needed to do this. If I didn't, I knew I'd turn around and get back in the bright taxi and drive right back to my house and pretend this wasn't an option.

But it was an option. Practically my only

Rolling my red suitcase across the sidewalk and into the airport terminal, I felt the guilt become heavier on my shoulders. You have to do this, I kept reminding myself.

I found myself in front of the board that flashed the flight times and destinations. Glancing at my phone, I took note of the time - 7:23am. The closest flight timewise was a 8am flight to Baltimore, Maryland.

Letting out a sigh, I did my best to smile.

Baltimore.

It seemed like a nice place to live.

In the winter it snowed in Maryland. Miami didn't have snow.

New beginnings. New beginnings. New beginnings.

I had to do this.

I did the necessary procedures to recieve my ticket. Once I boarded and sat down in my seat, I felt my cell phone vibrate in the pocket of my skinny jeans.

The screen lit up with the words "1 New Message!" and a picture of Austin Moon.

I felt like a hole had opened up in my heart. I quickly opened it, feeling even worse as my boyfriend's words sat in front of my eyes.

"Good morning, Ally! I can't wait to see you today. Text me when you wake up, okay? I love you. :)"

I quickly deleted the text message, not bothering to reply. I was doing this for the both of us. I was doing this for everyone.

Austin was part of the reason I was leaving, I suppose.

We had been dating since the summer before sophomore year and now it was Spring Break of our senior year. And maybe I was getting tired of just being expected to do certain things.

And dating Austin was one of those things that I was just expected to do.

And I did love Austin with my whole heart, truly.

I just didn't like that "Austin's girlfriend" had become my title or my description when others described me to people who didn't know me.

And I felt terrible that the same had happened to Austin, because he was always "Ally Dawson's boyfriend".

And if I wasn't "Austin Moon's girlfriend", I was buying being "Penny and Lester's daughter" or "Trish and Dez's best friend". Or sometimes I was "the straight A student in the 12th grade". Or "the girl who dated Elliot for a month during freshman year and the first girl who dumped him". "The girl who did anything you asked".

I was never just Ally Dawson.

And that was because I was always expected to be Austin's girlfriend, Penny and Lester's daughter, Trish and Dez's best friend, the straight A student in the 12th grade, the first girl to dump Elliot in 9th grade, and the girl who did anything you asked her to.

They never expected me to be "the girl who caught a flight to Baltimore and laughed halfway through senior year".'

And maybe I never even expected myself to succumb to that. But I had. That was who I was now.

I knew that perhaps leaving the state and flying to an entire different coast because of my fear of never being my own person was an overreaction. I also knew that me leaving would let Austin realize that he was a lot better without me. That he was better off with another girl.

Without me, Austin wouldn't be simply "Ally Dawson's boyfriend" because he was more than that and I was hoping I could help everyone realize that.

Elliot wouldn't have to be reminded of how I broke his heart and ruined his "never been dumped" streak, all because a certain blonde best friend of mine had begun to catch my eye.

Trish and Dez would find a new best friend who would have a name for herself.

Things were going to change for everyone and I was beginning to realize it. I was lucky I was already on the plane, because my decision was beginning to seem a little flimsy.

"Please turn off your laptops and/or cell phones. The flight to Baltimore, Maryland, will begin shortly. Thank you for choosing Miami International Airport for your travels."

This was it.

I stared outside of the window, seeing the town I had spent the last seventeen years in for one last time.

And with that, I left my heart in Florida.


	2. chapter one

"Shut up, Jacob," Ally rolls her brown eyes, teasing her boyfriend for over a year and a half now. "The Dolphins are SO much better than the Ravens!"

Jacob chuckles softly, his smile reaching his dark brown eyes. "Babe, look at the score! Seventeen to seven; you only think the Dolphins are better because you're from Miami."

"So, they had a bad game? You only like the Ravens because you're from Baltimore," the brunette scoffs in a joking manner, but is serious about defending her favorite team. "You suck, that's the point."

"Yeah, okay," he smiles, reaching over to plant his lips on hers before she changes the TV station to something else.

The younger woman stops on some celebrity news channel, something she hasn't been quite caught up with in the last five years, she assumes.

Seeing the all too familiar face on the screen, her hearts skips a few beats.

A blonde she knows all too well is being interviewed and a caption underneath him reads, "Austin Moon: Taking 2014 By Storm".

"Yeah, it's crazy. I've been doing this since a little after I turned 18 and it's all getting so... surreal this year," Austin's figure on the television laughs.

She bites her lip hard.

During her first year of residing in Baltimore, she had heard about Austin having a music video here and there or a new single every now and then.

Throughout high school, he was always writing his own songs, even some for me, and he would sing them to her and talk about how he wanted his future to play out. He wanted flashy lights and red carpets and sold out arenas and her.

And she just wasn't so sure she could give that to him.

Despite knowing of his slow-to-start teenaged career, she was completely clueless that he had become such a big, household name. She didn't know his dream came true and she tries her best to ignore the pang in my heart and the voice that told me "if you had stayed with him, you would have".

She slaps herself mentally a few times and curses in her head because she's 22 years old and she's sitting next to her very nice boyfriend and she's seriously moping about a boy she loved when she was 17.

"And we here at MTV are happy to announce that Austin Moon will be performing his new single, When We Were Young, for the first time, right here on our stage!" the perky blonde reported yells, making the crowd erupt in screams.

Television-Austin grins happily, lightly jogging to the television stage.

Ally watches intently, my eyes unable to look away.

Ally Dawson and Austin Moon dated for almost three years. The pair had the stereotypical relationship that started off as best friends and eventually realized our feelings and blah, blah, blah, the rest is history. The teenagers were the relationship that everyone was jealous of, even their closest friends. No one ever really tried to tear them apart, knowing it was hopeless, she supposes.

And why would they need someone else to ruin the prized relationship when they had her, Ally Dawson, personal grenade?

It was just before Spring Break of senior year when everyone began asking if the then 17 year old girl if she planned to be engaged to Austin any time soon and if they were going to get married after graduation and have kids and buy a house and get jobs and settle down.

And it was all so terrifying.

It's a shameful thing to admit to, but the day Spring Break had begun, she bolted. She spent the entire week before negotiating with her parents; trying desperately to get them to allow her to move out on her own, just get away.

It took the entire day prior to her departure but they finally agreed; under the circumstances that she obtained a steady job, a house of her own and that she stayed out of trouble. After all was set in stone, she made them promise they wouldn't tell anyone, especially Austin where she had went off to.

That first day – the day all of her friends found out that she had left – her phone blew up. Message after message, call after call. Everything went unanswered.

Ally couldn't read the texts or listen to the voicemails from Alex without her little heart breaking into a million pieces. She had ruined him and she was completely aware of that.

And it hurt because she could still see the last words he said to her in her head.

She only got a few texts when she first left.

"I just went to your house because you never texted... Your parents said you moved."  
"Where did you go?"  
"Why are you doing this? I don't know what I did."  
"Whatever you want me to say, tell me and I'll say it. I can't do this without you."  
"I still love you. I hope you know."

And by the second month, his pain was worsening and it wasn't fair because it didn't feel like she cared, because he didn't even get a goodbye.

"Please, please, please don't do do this to me, Ally."  
"You can't just be by my side for almost ten years and then just leave. That's not fair and you know it."  
"How can you be with me for three years and have the nerve to tell me you love me and not even tell me goodbye?"  
"Are we ever going to be in the same place again?"

And by month three, he was giving up. She only received one text.

"Say something, Ally. Anything. I'm giving up on you."

After a while, she finally changed her phone number and her address and home phone were both unlisted. Nobody had any way of finding Ally Dawson.

It took a while, but she got used to Trish, Dez, and of course, Austin not being around. She felt absolutely selfish and worthless for leaving everyone behind without a goodbye, but it was what she had to do. Or that's what it felt like at the time.

She usually tries to avoid Austin's songs and beforehand, it helped, because as far as she knew, there wasn't many. But she supposes she was wrong.

Just as she's broken from my trance, Austin's voice spills out of the TV as he sings the verse of his newest single. "Do you remember, back when we fell in love in your best friend's basement? I spun the bottle and I hoped it would land on you."

The words find a home in her mind and all the old memories from high school begin flooding back, opening the old wounds.

The small party Trish had at her house during the last month of freshman year. Ally was dating Elliot and Austin was nothing more than her best friend.

And it wasn't until the end of that night and a round of Spin the Bottle later that she realized Austin was so much more to her than she could process.

"We thought we were so cool, listening to Zeppelin. We were making out to Stairway to Heaven," television-Austin winks at the camera and she's certain she could vomit everywhere. "We had nowhere to go, so we slept out on the roof. But now, we don't even speak at all," pain flashes through his eyes and all she wants is to crawl into a hole.

She feels Jacob's eyes shift from her to the screen, and back. He looks terribly confused but the brunette can't bring herself to open up about Austin.

Austin is a part of her life that she had shut out and was hoping it'd stay that way.

"We snuck out in your daddy's ride to he drive in. We were making love for the first time," the camera zooms in on a shot of Austin, making the pit in the twenty-two year old's stomach grow larger.

She hasn't seen any pictures or heard any music or watched any videos of this man for what seemed like forever. Seeing him makes her feel like she's being torn into pieces; when Ally first moved to Baltimore, it was almost as if the only thing she knew how to do was watch videos of Austin on her cell phone and scroll through pictures of him on her camera roll. After a while, she promised herself that she'd never let herself see him again.

She still can't handle it.

A feeling in her stomach tells her this song is about her; she assumes that's why it hurts so much.

"When we were young and reckless, dumb and fearless, and fighting in the streets... Will you remember me?" as the words escape Austin's lips, she feels the pang in her chest again. "Young forever back then; I never knew that first love was the hardest."

Why is she still watching this?

As a beat on the drums plays, Jacob looks over at his girlfriend, resting his hand on hers. "Are you okay, baby?" his green eyes fill with concern.

"I- I'm fine. This song just has a lot of memories, I guess…" She chokes back the tears that dare to fall from her chocolate eyes. She lightly snatches her hand out from under Jacob's and runs it through her wavy brown hair.

Before he can respond, the next and last verse of the song seem to resonate a deeper feeling than the rest of them. "I never thought that we'd surrender when I was yours and you were mine. I'll never regret. We learned how to love. When we were young and still together, there was nothing left to prove."

Ally feels her breathing becoming more difficult. This isn't happening. It isn't supposed to be happening. This is the type of thing she should laugh at, because, oh, wow, it's been five years and he's still thinking about it?

But she doesn't laugh, because oh, wow, it's been five years and just seeing him makes her feel sixteen all over again.

"We learned how to love when we were young," Austin finishes the song, a look that she can't exactly pinpoint present on his face.

"Babe, I promised Alex that I'd go hang with him and the guys for tonight… are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Jacob asks awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands.

"Yeah, I'll be okay."

"Are you sure? I'll stay here if you want…" Jacob smiles reassuringly. Deep down, she knows he has no idea in hell what can possibly be wrong with his girlfriend.

"Positive, babe," she shoots her dark headed boyfriend one of her signature smiles, even if it was fake. "You go have fun with the guys. I'll be fine," grinning, she leans over from my spot on the couch and kisses his lips softly.

"Okay, good," Jacob smiles, shaking his short hair out of his eyes. "Love you, Als."

"Love you, too, Jake," Ally says, just as he makes his way out of the door.

The second she hears his truck pull out of the driveway of my home, she picks up her Mac laptop from its place on the coffee table in front of her.

Deep down, the brunette knows she's going to regret doing what she's about to do, but it was too late. Seeing Austin on the television had raised too many unanswered questions in Ally's mind.

Opening up Twitter, the brunette types in "AustinMoon" into the address bar. Preparing herself for what was to come, she reads through a few of his tweets.

austinmoon: Back in Miami for the next two months. Stoked!

Suddenly, she knows exactly where she needs to be.

* * *

When Jacob had returned to her home that night, Ally explains to him everything she's been thinking about over that day.

"So… what you're saying is, you're going back to Miami for a little while?" he raises a bushy brow at her, not believing what his girlfriend just said to him. "Als, you haven't been there in five years, right? What makes you suddenly want to go back?"

"I have family to visit," she lies straight through her teeth and she hates lying to Jacob, but Ally knows if she tells him exactly what she's going for he'd either break up with her or lecture her about how this is a terrible idea and she's only going to get hurt and it's a terrible idea and all this other stuff that she already knows. "And I never said it was a for sure thing. I'm just considering it."

"When do you plan on leaving?"

"I did my research and there is a flight to Miami at 9am in two and a half weeks." She trails off awkwardly, fidgeting with her fingers and playing with the hem of her baby blue V-neck.

"You sure you don't want me to tag along?" Jacob asks, running a hand through his dark hair.

Her body tenses up. It probably seems fairly suspicious to the older man in front of her that she doesn't want him to come along to visit the "family" she's supposedly seeing, but she can't exactly bring him to see Austin, can she? "You have things to do here… the guys will probably want to hang out with you and all that… I don't want to make you uproot anything. Besides, I don't know how long I'll be in Miami."

"Alright," Jacob shrugs carelessly. "I guess you should go. It's been a while. Your parents always fly here. Maybe it's best you go see them. We can order your ticket tomorrow," he says.

"I, uh, already did," Ally shoots her boyfriend a small smile.

He stares at her, his eyes full of disbelief and a little anger. "You said you were just thinking about it."

"I- I was. Earlier. And if you said I shouldn't go, I was just going to refund it... Or something," she sighs, knowing she's just screwed herself over.

And she sighs again, because wasn't her reason for coming here to be her own person and make her own decisions?

"I just... Okay. You'll leave in a week and we'll talk and call and text for the duration of your trip," he says and it's not really a suggestion, it's more of a plan.

And she's a little annoyed with herself because his plan is what she's expected to do.

"Okay," is all she says and leaves to pack her things.

And now she's a little angry at herself for being rude to Jacob when he didn't really do anything.

But she can't even think straight or think about Jacob right now.

Because in two and a half weeks she's going to be seeing the man she ran away from five years ago.


	3. chapter two

**A short chapter, but it gives insight on Austin's pain and hate towards Ally for right now. Enjoy. Next chapter will be up shortly.**

* * *

Back in Miami, Austin Moon sat at the familiar red piano in his very own practice room.

His heart hurts a little because it feels like it was just yesterday when he and Ally were both sitting at this stupid piano.

But it wasn't just yesterday that she was here because that would mean she never left.

But she did leave, and oh, god, did she take a piece of his heart with him.

And today is the anniversary of her departure from Miami. And it hurts a lot. Because five years sure does go by fast.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you," he sings, his voice almost a whisper as he hits the white keys. "Anywhere I would have followed you."

"Does it still hurt some days?" he hears a voice ask from behind him.

He jumps, startled by the sudden presence. The blonde turns around to see his curly haired best friend. "Trish," he says, his voice hoarse. "How'd you get in here?"

"Your front door was unlocked. And I heard your piano."

A beat passes.

"Does it?" she repeats.

"Y-yeah. I mean... Yeah. It does. Some days I don't think of her at all, but when the stupid anniversary of her leaving comes around...," Austin swallows hard, trying to stay strong in front of Trish, because he knows it still hurts her too. "It hurts so much. It's the only day it really hurts. And I mean, really hurts."

"I know," the Latina whispers, taking a seat next to her childhood best friend.

And normally, Austin would be annoyed with someone for trying to sympathize with his pain, but he doesn't argue because he knows Trish is hurting just as much and she really does know.

"I don't get why it hurts so much still, you know?" Austin says abruptly after a minute of silence. "Today makes five years. Since she left, that is."

Trish doesn't say anything, because she knows April 9th is always a hard day for Austin.

"It's been five years. I don't need to be upset about this anymore. She's never coming back. I've accepted that. I don't want to see her ever again, because, man, did she hurt me... but why does it hurt?" he asks, this time looking at the woman next to him.

"Maybe because a piece of you wants her to come back, despite the pain she left you with. The pain she left us all with," Trish offers, knowing this isn't what Austin wants to hear, but it is the truth.

Ignoring her words, Austin continues. "I hate her. I hate her so much, Trish. I hate myself for loving her. I hate her for leaving me. I hate her for not saying goodbye."

Trish just nods, knowing his words are just out of anger and they're far from true.

And he blinks a few times before turning back to the keys and he plays a few tunes for Trish.

"Maybe it's crazy, but maybe she never meant to hurt you. Or us," Trish says after a few minutes.

Austin keeps playing. "Huh?"

"Austin, you know Ally would never hurt anyone intentionally. And I'm not trying to justify her actions, because what she did was wrong," she takes a sharp breath. "But maybe she honestly thought she was doing something right."

And Austin stops playing. He doesn't say anything, because it hurts to think that Ally only saw good in leaving him, because did that mean she didn't see the good in their relationship?

"I hate her," he mumbles in replying.

And Trish isn't sure if he's trying to convince her or himself.


	4. chapter three

Ally's standing in the airport terminal, awaiting her boarding time. And she sort of feels like she could vomit everywhere right now.

"You can do this," she whispers to herself. "You just need to apologize. That's all."

And she hears her flight number being called over the intercom and the brunette is certain she could crawl out of her skin right that second.

Before she thinks another thought, she feels two muscular arms wrap around her from behind. "I'm gonna miss you, babe," Jacob's voice says sincerely into her ear.

And she turns herself around and forces a smile. "I'll miss you most," she nods to confirm her own words. "I'll text when I land."

"You should call," he suggests.

She reluctantly agrees because she's not sure if she could face Austin after hearing her boyfriend of two years' voice.

"I'll see you soon, Jake," she pecks his lips softly and began ambling over to security.

"Miss you already, Als," he jokes, waving to her as she enters baggage.

And a few minutes later, Ally's sitting in her plane seat, awaiting further instructions and she can't feel her arms and she feels paralyzed.

She's going to be seeing Austin Moon soon.

* * *

"Thank you for choosing Baltimore-Washington International Airport for your travels. We welcome you to the beautiful city of Miami, Florida. Please enjoy your stay. We hope to see you soon," the over enthusiastic stewardess says into the mic, then giving instructions about baggage claim and such.

Ally rushes off the plane and nearly knocks over a few people in her rush to get to baggage claim.

And she sees the family members and excited looking young women holding the signs with names on them and she expectedly looks across the names, hoping to see her own.

Then she remembers she hasn't been to Miami in five years. Not even a pass through. She's alone here. And she deserves to be, she guesses.

The brunette quickly shakes the thoughts and makes way to find a rental car.

* * *

Ally's sitting in her rental car, trying to decide her first destination and before she can even utter a word, she's nearly flooring it, desperate to get to her first, and maybe the last one she had, female best friend.

Not but twenty minutes later, she's at the familiar home and she's a little more than reluctant to get out of her car and knock on the door.

It takes another six minutes (not that she was counting) for her to muster up the courage to go to the door.

Knocking, she almost convinces herself to walk, or run, either is fine, really, away and just catch a flight to another state, and maybe start all over again.

But she can't do that because she's facing her fears this time.

No answers.

Sighing, Ally turns to walk off the porch when a voice stops her.

"Sorry about that. I had a phone call to handle," an all too familiar voice says from behind Ally. "What are you selling?" the Latina says with a small laugh.

But when the person on Trish's front porch turns around to reveal themselves, her laughter stops.

"Ally Dawson."

"H-hi," Ally stutters, feeling two feet tall under Trish's stare. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Trish," her voice cracks, a single tear falling.

"You leave with no warning or goodbye and you think you can just come back after leaving all of us wondering for five years..." Trish takes a sharp breath, closing her eyes tight, because this is just like all the other dreams she has where Ally returns. Right?

Nope.

Trish flings her eyes open to see Ally standing in front of her.

"And the best you can tell me is 'I'm sorry?'" Trish laughs, but this time, it's bitter. "Do you even care what you put us through?"

"Of course I do," Ally defends herself, walking back up the porch. "You guys weren't the only ones hurting. It was hard for me too."

Ignoring her protests, Trish continues. "And poor Austin. Oh, God, he spent months thinking he did something wrong. It's been years and he still thinks it's his fault. And it's not."

Ally nods solemnly. "I know it's not his fault, but- ...wait.. Austin blames himself?"

Trish nods.

"Oh, no, no, no. Why?"

"You didn't really give him any other choice."

Ally sighs. "I'm sorry. So sorry."

And Trish doesn't protest or anything, because she doesn't really forgive Ally just yet and she's in no place to befriend her all over again.

But she does know that Ally really is sorry and maybe that's a start.

"I think we both know who you should really be saying that to," Trish says casually giving her ex-best friend a knowing look.

Ally nods solemnly, because she knows the man who deserves it most. "What do you think he's going to say?"

"I think he's going to be really angry and he might yell a lot."

"But it'll all be okay?" Ally asks hopefully.

Trish lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Ally."

And Ally bites her lip and nods. "I know. I know."

"No, I really don't think you do," and this is it. Trish is snapping. She's tired of hiding the pain and masking it away for the benefit of everyone else. But now the person who caused that pain was standing right in front of her after five years. And Trish could say whatever she wanted because really, she didn't care what Ally thought of her.

"You left all of us here. Seventeen, getting ready to graduate, excited to see the world and live our dreams. And everything was going to work out. And you just leave. No warning. No goodbye. And you just think you can walk back into Miami say you're sorry and we're all just supposed to jump into your arms?" Trish spat at the brunette standing on her front porch.

"I never expected that."

"I sure hope not, because you're not getting that from me," Trish states. "And I doubt you'll be getting that from Austin. Now go talk to him. I'll see you later."

"I..." With the look that Trish is giving her, Ally knows not to argue right now. "Okay. I'll go see Austin.. I... I'm sorry, Trish."

Trish just nods and shuts the door hard behind her.

And Ally grimaces because that went significantly better than she had planned.

* * *

She's sitting in her car.

In his driveway.

Austin Moon's driveway.

A driveway she hasn't been in in five years.

Ally slowly opens her car door, taking her time because she's not sure what she needs to say to Austin after all this time and she's pretty sure she could vomit right here into his bright green grass.

And she reaches his front door and before she stop herself, she begins knocking. She hears footsteps moving around inside and she feels nervous suddenly.

The footsteps are still audible, but it's been about three minutes and there's no answer.

He probably saw you and went to call authorities to take you away from him, she thinks to herself.

She sighs in defeat and turns around, accepting a loss.

"Sorry about that. I tripped over a basket- you know what, not important. Can I help you?" an all too familiar voice, that sounded so strange at the same time, made Ally stop right in her tracks.

She's frozen in place. She can't turn around because she knows Austin doesn't want to see her. Because, really. Everyone knows Ally Dawson is the last person Austin Moon wants to see.

"Ma'am? Are you okay?" Austin's voice says again, this time it's filled with concern.

And Ally forces herself to face him because she came too far to turn back now.

"A-Austin..." she says slowly, hoping maybe he had gotten amnesia at some point over the years and didn't remember her at all.

"Ally Dawson.." is all he says.

But the look on his face is enough confirmation to Ally that he remembers who she is.

Austin remembers all of it.


	5. chapter four

Austin's staring at her and he's trying to make sense of everything that's sort of happening right now.

But he can't.

"Ally Dawson," is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. And her name doesn't roll off his tongue like it used and it sounds almost like a different language now.

"Austin," Ally has tears in her eyes and she knows she doesn't really deserve to cry and to be upset, because she left him. She broke him. "Austin, I'm so sorry."

Apologizing is really the only thing she knows to do right now, because she knew seeing him would be hard but she didn't know it'd make her want to break down like this.

"Ally, you... You can't just show up here after everything you put me through. And just say you're sorry!" Austin's yelling at her now and it's strange because he's never yelled at her.

But it's also been five years, so things are a little different now.

"I know," she's choking back a sob and her brown eyes fall to the ground. "I just don't know where to start."

And Austin doesn't say anything, because what could he say? This was the girl who ripped his heart out and left him stranded and broken. He didn't have it in him to forgive her. Not yet.

When he doesn't reply, Ally nods solemnly. She never expected him to forgive her; she just needed him to know where she stood. That she regretted everything.

"I'm sorry," she says one more time before turning and walking to her vehicle.

And it's as if something snaps inside of Austin's head, because this is Ally Dawson and, yeah, she ripped his heart out and didn't look back once, but she's _Ally_ _Dawson_. The only girl he's ever really loved.

He practically leaps off of his front porch and races towards her.

Once he's in reach of her, he grabs her thin, pale arm. He shuts his brown eyes tight. "You left me five years ago... and you're back. And y-you're not leaving again without giving me some sort of explanation."

The younger brunette swallows hard. "I don't know if I have one, Austin," her voice cracks, refusing to face one. "I know you have a lot of questions, but I don't know if I have the answers you're looking for."

And his hand is still on her arm, his callused fingers grazing over her skin softly, because he's waited so long just to feel her again. Just to be in her presence one more time. His eyes are still shut when he whispers, "I don't care if they're not the ones I want. I just need something."

When she doesn't reply, he continues. "I deserve something, Ally."

Ally finally turns around and faces him, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks. "What do you want to know?"

"W-where did you go?" his voice is shaking and it's not normal, because he's always been so confident and he's never nervous. Heck, he practically talks for a living.

"Baltimore," the twenty-two year old answers shortly.

Austin's eyes are still shut. "You always loved the snow," he replies and his tone is nearly emotionless.

"I know."

And he wants to yell a little more, but he can't seem to find his voice.

"Why did you leave me?" his large hand finally leaves her arm and she feels empty again.

"I was so scared. And everything I did felt like such an obligation. I was expected to do everything. So, I... I did the one thing no one thought I would," she confesses, running a hand through her ombré hair. "I ran away. I ran so far away because I thought it would help. I would be my own person. You'd find someone better. Trish and Dez would get a better friend. And I thought I would come back eventually, but I couldn't. I just couldn't."

And suddenly, Austin finds his voice. "You were scared?!" he practically screams. "Scared!" he says as if just the idea is absolutely preposterous. "You didn't think I was scared, Ally? We were _seventeen_. Everyone is scared at seventeen! How could you have been so damn stupid?!"

And she knows he's angry because he doesn't usually curse. Especially at her. But she doesn't blame him for being angry.

"I loved you," she says and her voice is barely above a whisper.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Ally. You didn't love me. If you loved me, you would have at least given me a goodbye. I think I at least deserved that," he spits at her, his eyes growing dark with anger.

And Ally knows he's angry and he's just saying words, but now she's angry, because how dare he, despite what she did, doubt that she loved him.

"Austin, you can call me any name you want to. I deserve that. You can scream at me until your throat's sore, because I deserve that, too," Ally takes a deep breath. "But don't you ever say I didn't love you. Because I loved you more than anything I ever knew."

"Then why didn't I get a goodbye?"

"Because it was too hard, Austin!" As soon as the words leave her lips, she squeezes her chocolate eyes shut. "When I thought about not seeing you every day and not holding you and not hearing you say love me every day, it made me not want to go."

He scoffs a little. "Then why the hell did you leave, Ally?"

"Because I needed to! Things were changing, Austin. We were seventeen," she says in a tone that mocked his previous one. "Everyone's scared at seventeen. I needed to leave. I needed Baltimore."

He just stares at her in disbelief, blinking a few times. "But I needed you," he whispers.

"I'm sorry."

And he can't say anymore, because Ally's not cooperating and she won't be open with him and tell him what was really so wrong about staying in Miami. And staying with him.

"I think I'm done here," the blonde lets out a sigh of defeat and begins retreating to his front door.

"Austin," her small voice says from behind him.

He stops in his tracks, but he doesn't say anything, because he can't handle this right now. He doesn't need this right now.

Austin opens the front door, takes one last look at her and shrugs. "Good seeing you." And he shuts the door behind him.

Ally stands frozen on the grass in Austin's front lawn. A sob breaks from her chest and she can barely breathe and it's hard to think straight or to even move.

And all she can think about is how Austin Moon really loved and she threw it all away because she was seventeen and thought she knew all the answers and she was a little scared.


	6. chapter five

**AN: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, so it might get deleted and updated later, but, hm.**

* * *

It's the next morning and the brunette has done everything in her power to avoid her old friends at all costs.

She feels a little guilty about putting off her reunion with Dez, but with the way everyone else had reacted, she wasn't sure she could handle another person screaming at her. So, she found a nice hotel and booked a few nights.

Ally's sitting at a booth in the familiar setting of Melody's Diner. Alone.

And it's the first time since she landed in Baltimore five years ago that she's felt truly alone. Even then, though, she didn't feel as alone as she did now.

This was a terrible sort of feeling that she just wasn't sure how to cope with.

The bell above the door rings, signifying someone's entrance and Ally's brown eyes look up and her heart skips a beat or two at the sight of the blonde she just had screaming at her the day before.

Austin doesn't look at her at first, making his way to his own table, calling out "The usual, please," to a smiling blonde employee who quickly jots down whatever it is "the usual" is, because Ally's not really anymore.

And when he sees her, he stops dead in his tracks, his eyes lingering longer than they probably should.

Ally doesn't say anything, because she's not sure where to start anymore. So, she just stares back, not wanting to break the silence first.

And if she was being honest, if him not yelling at her meant the two of them staring at each, both resembling a deer in headlights, she'd take it any day.

His next move is what surprises her, though. The blonde musician wordlessly takes the seat in the booth seat directly across from her, finally breaking the eye contact and nervously fiddling with his fingers.

"Austin," Ally begins, her voice cracking slightly and catching Austin's attention.

"Don't," he says, his voice almost inaudible. "I've waited five years just to... just to see you and be close to you again. We're not... Right now, we're not going to discuss the things we need to because I just want to eat some breakfast and just... just sense that you're here. That you're real." His request comes off more like a ramble, but she doesn't mind.

Not at all.

"Okay," is all she says, sipping her orange juice out of the green cup in front of her. "I'm here," she confirms, nodding. "I'm real."

"Thank you."

A few minutes pass by and the pair is silent, almost scared to say what they're both thinking.

The blonde waitress from moments earlier brings Austin a plate stacked high with the usual - which Ally can now safely assume is a stack of five chocolate chip pancakes, smothered in syrup, slathered with butter and topped with a fresh strawberry. "Enjoy, Austin," the blonde smiles flirtatiously at the singer, handing him his receipt before walking away.

Ally feels her blood boil with jealousy for a second, before shoving the thoughts out of her head, because she actually has no right to feel this way.

"Why did you sit with me?" the twenty-two year old finally asks. "I mean... it's just that, you know..."

"I like to think I'm a forgiving person."

And it's not a direct "I forgive you" because she knows they're not quite in that place yet. But it's something and it's better than nothing.

A few more minutes pass by with no words being exchanged.

Austin swallows another bite of his pancake before he finally speaks up. "You're a still you and I'm still me."

His words gain a rather confused expression from Ally, because isn't that obvious?

"And you're always going to mean something to me," he continues and she nods in reply. "No matter how much I wish you didn't."

And it's almost as if Ally can physically hear her heart breaking because she's never seen Austin look so broken and torn and vulnerable.

"I know," is all she says.

And she sits quietly as he finishes his pancakes and every now and then, he would fill the silence with something like, "The night of graduation, Dez did the funniest thing," and he'd tell a story. A story that really shouldn't have been a story to tell her because she should have been there, but he doesn't say that part out loud.

Then sometimes he would say, "I wrote this song and I think you'd like it," but he wouldn't offer to play it for her, so she didn't request to hear it. She just let him talk about it.

And she'd smile when his eyes lit up when he was telling her about performing and meeting fans and his albums.

Half an hour and five pancakes later, Austin pushed his plate aside, crossing his arms and setting them on the table. And he just looked at her.

He tried to pinpoint the physical features that hadn't changed about her - her eyes were still brown, obviously. Her hair still fell down her shoulders in soft, brunette waves, except now they were also a few different shades of brown in them. She still smiled showing all of her teeth and her nose scrunched when she laughed (he was lucky enough to get a few giggles out of her throughout breakfast).

But Austin couldn't help but feel his heart break a little more when he noticed that her smile didn't really reach her eyes anymore and her eyes didn't really have that happy gleam in them that they used to.

"What are you looking at?" she asks, her nose scrunching.

"You," is all he says, with a shrug.

And she nods, looking back at him.

Five minutes pass and Austin announces that he has to be at he studio soon, but adds that it was nice seeing her and this time he doesn't say it sarcastically which makes Ally a little more than happy.

And it's nothing big, but it's progress. And that's all she really needs right now.

* * *

After a rather successful encounter with Austin, Ally finally decides to pay Dez a visit, still feeling guilty about not seeing him the prior day.

A short drive later and she's pulling into his driveway, feeling nervous all over again.

Despite her initial nervousness, she has no trouble getting herself out of the car this time and basically sprinting over to the front door.

She beats on the door with her small fist until the door is abruptly opened when she's mid-knock.

"Yes, hi. What's u- Ally," Dez's tone went from a rushed, short voice to a completely shocked because, what the hell, this is Ally Dawson.

"Dez, I, uh, hi," Ally awkwardly waves to her long lost friend. "I, uh, I'm.. I'm sorry," she blurts out after embarrassingly stuttering for what seemed like 20 years.

"You, uh.. Wow. I, um. Okay," Dez is desperate for the right words. Because, holy crap, this is Ally Dawson. "This is unexpected. Wow. Hi."

"Hi," she says meekly.

And she's a little giddy, because Dez isn't yelling at her. Yet at least.

"Does Austin know you're here?"

"Yeah. Y-yeah, he does."

A silence passes.

"Will you please just yell at me or call me names already? I deserve it. I know. So, please just get it over with," Ally finally blurts out.

"I'm not going to yell. Or call you names," Dez reassures her. "I just... I don't get why you're here."

"I... I'm..." Ally stumbles over her words. "I don't really know. I was hoping to figure that out while I was here."

"I see," the redhead nods. "I missed you. I missed my best friend."

Ally feels tears in her eyes, because Dez is the first person to tell her that and she didn't know how much she needed to hear those three words until someone finally said them.

"I missed you. So much," she says, a tear falling as she wraps her arms tight around her best friend's torso and it's almost like second nature how quickly he wraps his long arms around her, engulfing her in a tight embrace.

And they just hug for a short time and they both know there's a lot to be said, but neither of them really wants to address it because it still hurts a lot.

Because Ally and Dez were best friends and best friends don't pack up and go to the other side of the country without saying something. It's sort of an unspoken rule. (Because really, who would think that needed to be spoken?)

But for right now, they just hug.

And Ally knows progress is still to be made with Trish, but with the progress with a certain blonde and redhead, Ally feels a little confident.

And she knows things aren't going to be normal. She knows it's going to be a really long time. And she's aware she doesn't a really long time, but she's going to make do with what she has.

But with Austin sort of indirectly accepting Ally's presence back into his life and Dez admitting he missed her, Ally doesn't feel as alone anymore.

* * *

**AN: Also, the ending here is a little weird. So, that might change later too... I dunno.**

**UP NEXT: Ally meets up with Trish a second time around.**


	7. chapter six

Ally's knocking on Trish's door again and she feels as if she has a severe case of déjà vu.

"Coming!" a voice from the other side of the door calls, followed by loud footsteps.

The door swings open and at first, Trish was smiling and now she's not.

"Oh," the Latina mumbles the second she comes to face the brunette on the other side of the door. "It's just you," she rolls her eyes and walks away, but she leaves the door open.

Ally lets out a heavy breath. "Trish, please... just hear me out. Please."

There's no answer, but the door is still open, so the short brunette takes it upon herself to walk into the house.

"Trish," she calls out again when she enters.

No answer.

"Trish, please. I know you're angry," Ally tries one more time.

No ans-

"What?" Trish's voice croaks from behind the kitchen wall.

"I'm sorry," Ally feels a tear fall down her face. "I know that doesn't fix it, but I need you to know that I never meant to hurt you."

And Trish feels bad because just a week or so ago, she was the one telling Austin that maybe Ally didn't intend to hurt anyone. And here Trish is now not even giving Ally a chance to explain.

When Trish doesn't answer, Ally continues. "I know it seems like I did, but it was never what I wanted. I thought I was doing something right." She's crying now.

Trish appears from behind the thin walls, tears streaming down her face. "Ally."

"Trish, I-"

"No," Trish chokes out. "Let me talk. I... You were my best friend. And I depended on you for everything. And you just walked out. So easily. Did we mean anything to you?"

Ally nods vigorously. "You all meant everything to me. And I thought I was holding you back. That you could all be so much more without me."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know."

And Trish doesn't know what comes over herself but before she can realize it, she's rushing over to the petite brunette and wrapping her arms around her.

Because yeah, she screwed up. But she's back. And Trish will find it in herself to forgive Ally. Not right now, though, because it still hurts. But for now.

For now, this is enough.

* * *

Ally finds herself in Austin's driveway again, with a smile on her face, because Trish forgave her and they had a really long talk and everything was in place and all of her old friends knew where she stood and vise versa.

She pulls the keys out of the ignition of her large, red van and makes her way to Austin's door and she feels a little nervous.

And Ally's not entirely sure as to why she's so nervous, but she can't fight the anxiety butterflies in her tummy and the closer she gets to the door, the bigger in number they become.

Before she can stop herself, her tiny fist is rapping against the wooden door.

"Coming!" the familiar voice calls from behind the door.

The voice is followed by a series of booms, crashes, and ows.

The door swings open revealing a flustered Austin. "Hi, sorry. I, uh... tripped coming down the stairs," he blushes.

Ally lets out a giggle. "It's okay. Sorry if I'm over here unexpected. I just got back from Trish's. I thought I'd stop by."

"No, that's definitely cool!" Austin grins. "I'm just working on a song, if you wanna join me."

Ally nods excitedly, because maybe she'd be able to play what she's learned on the piano for Austin.

"Follow me then, lady," the blonde offers his arm to the younger and leads her to his very own practice room.

* * *

Ally taps the keys on the piano, mesmerizing Austin with each note that she plays.

"I didn't know you learned how to play," the blonde singer smiles big.

"Yeah, I learned a year or two ago from my b-," and she almost says boyfriend, but she doesn't think it's time for that right now, "from my friend. Show me that song, Austin," she changes the subject.

"Well, okay. Here's the music; you play it. I'll sing," he commands and she obliges.

"She'll lie and steal and cheat and beg you from her knees. She'll make you think she means it this time," Austin's voice sounds so raw and pure, it sends goosebumps down Ally's spine. "She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair. But I still love her. I don't really care."

And she continues to play while he sings and she really tosses the words through her mind, because Austin's certainly come a long way since his songs from age sixteen.

"I don't blame you, dear, for running like you did all those years ago. I would do the same, you'd best believe. The highway signs say we're close," Austin clears his throat, making eye contact with Ally. "I don't read those things anymore. I never trusted my own eyes."

And he's done and he's staring into her big, brown eyes and she's staring back. And Austin could swear at she's leaning closer and he's scared out of his mind because this is Ally Dawson and she could easily break him at any given time. And he's honestly surprised she hasn't yet.

But when her lips are centimeters from his, she closes her eyes tight. Then she whispers, "Austin, I.. I have a boyfriend."

And there it is. There's the catch. The thing that broke him.


	8. chapter seven

Austin stops for a second, blinking ever so slightly. "Excuse me?"

"I... He... His name is Jake. Jacob. We've been dating for about a year or so... He's from Baltimore. And I-" she's suddenly cut off.

"Do you love him?"

"Wh-what?" Ally stammers, taken aback by his sudden query.

"Do you love him?" he repeats as if it's the most normal question to ever ask a person.

"I... I don't know."

"Does he make you happier than I ever did?" Now Austin's avoiding her gaze and he's staring at the piano keys, feeling broken all over again. And before she can answer, because he's not entirely sure if his heart can handle the answer, he clears his throat. "He must. You haven't run away from him. Must be something special."

Ally winces. "Austin."

"No, no, it's fine. He must pretty damn awesome if you haven't run thousands of miles away from him, right?" The blonde still isn't looking at her, but the pain is evident in his voice.

"It's not like that and you know it," the brunette begins. "Things with you were a lot more-"

"What the hell does he have that I didn't?" Austin finally looks up, tears pooling in his eyes. "What did I do that was just so...wrong?"

And it finally hits Austin that he can't be angry anymore. That he tried so hard to hate her when she first arrived in Miami days before, but he found himself in front of her at the diner, thinking about kissing her and holding her and feeling her again.

And he let the anger surpass. And now that the anger was gone, he's upset.

He's broken. He's torn. He's not really himself anymore. And that's because of her. But he doesn't really care. Because oh, god, she's so pretty and she looks so sad and her lips are so pink and plump. And he's upset because she so willingly left him and she's so beautiful and he wants to kiss her. But he can't. Because she's not his. She's Jacob's. Or whatever the hell his name is.

"You didn't do anything, Austin," she finally says after a long silence. "It was me. It was all me. And I'm so sorry."

He just bites down on his lip hard and tinkers with the black and white keys a little more until he starts to sing. "Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling; I'm calling at night. I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?"

And Ally's just listening, her nose scrunching a little bit, because she's never heard this tune before.

"She's been running through my dreams. And it's driving me crazy, it seems," then he takes his eyes away from the keys and stares into her big brown doe eyes. "I'm gonna ask her to marry me."

And her mouth falls a little bit, but she doesn't any time to respond because the blonde musicians continues singing.

"The neighbors said she moved away. Funny how it rained all day. I didn't think much of it then, but it's starting to all make sense," and before she can even process the words that are so obviously about her, he's practically slamming on the keys. "I can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever, wherever she may be."

And he keeps playing, but he's not singing anymore, but he's still staring at her.

Her gaze lingers for a few seconds before she slowly pulls out a worn piece of paper from her back pocket and she unfolds it and takes a deep breath.

"I'm not coming back. I've done something so terrible. I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me," Ally's singing and it's the first time Austin has heard her sing since they were teenagers.

But the words she's singing are unfamiliar and he can tell by the look on her face that they're her own words and she means them.

"So many thousands of feet off the ground, I'm over you now. I'm at home in the clouds and towering over your head," a single tear tears falls from her eyes and she just keeps shaking her head.

"What is that?" Austin asks slowly, slightly fearing the possible answers hat were coming his way.

"It was your goodbye," Ally lets out a yelp of a sob. "You were always supposed to get a goodbye. I just couldn't bring myself to do it because I loved you so much."

And Austin can't really take it anymore because she just laid her heart out and he did the same. He sort of admitted how he felt about her leaving and she did the same and it was impossible to not want to hold her and let her cry.

So he swallows hard. "I think... I think I'm gonna kiss you."

And she nods slowly. "I think I'm going to kiss you back," a small smile forms on her lips.

And he nods, confirming the actions that are about to ensue. Ally goes to say something and he captures her lips with his and he's pressing hard against her mouth because he's waited so long just to taste her just one more time.

He had kissed a fair share of people throughout his post-Ally years, but none of them had even come close to being as magical and fantastic as kissing Ally.

"We're both going to regret this a lot later," Austin whispers as he pulls away from her now swollen lips.

"I don't care," Ally shakes her head.

And Austin does his best to push out all the negative thoughts, because she has a boyfriend and a life in Baltimore, and he has obligations here and all the obvious reasons as to why getting involved with Ally is a terrible idea.

But for now, he's kissing her and that's all that matters.

Because even though just a few moments, she said she had loved him so much when they were teenagers, Austin loves her.

Present tense.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: The song used is Remembering Sunday by All Time Low ft. Julie. Simms. If you haven't heard it, you should definitely check it out.**

**Also I'm really sorry that my updates have been a little spacious now. I've been sort of in and out of hospitals and doctor offices and been sick and all that fun stuff. But ayo, despite that, you guys make me incredibly happy win all your really nice words and stuff.**

**I love you all very, very much.**


	9. chapter eight

It's been six days since their heated kiss and Ally's been avoiding Austin.

Well, not specifically avoiding him. She's just not really going out of her way to see him at the moment.

And the brunette feels terrible, but she's doing her best to sort everything out. Everything that's happened in the past few days had left her mind reeling and her heart thumping out of her chest.

She kissed Austin.

Austin and Ally kissed, but she has a boyfriend.

But he knows that, so she's not really the only one at fault, though, right?

She's sitting at her small piano that stayed in her old bedroom. She's at her parents house now, alone, though.

As if reading her mind, a familiar ringtone starts playing in her pocket. Hesitantly, she pulls out her phone, her heart stopping at the name that lights up across the screen.

Jake Edwards.

Ally takes a deep breath and brings the phone to her ear. "H-hello?"

She put the call on speaker phone, letting his deep voice resonate throughout the room.

"Hey, babe," his familiar, cheery voice comes from the other line of the phone call. "I just wanted to call you and see how you're doing. I haven't heard much from you and you've been gone for at least a week."

Ally shuts her eyes tight.

Why did she ever leave? Why did she think coming back would solve anything? Sure, she needed to apologize to everyone. But, did she have to kiss Austin?

Did she need to leave Miami in the first place?

"I...," she wants to tell him about Austin, but she decides against it for now, because there's better ways to do that. "I'm sorry. It's just... There's a lot of things to figure out here. Sorry," she feels like she could vomit at any moment, because Jake loves her so much and here she is, basically lying to his face.

But for right now, she doesn't know the right words to say "I actually came here to apologize to an ex that I left a long time ago. I kissed him yesterday. I think I still love him." And she's not certain that they make cards for that.

Jake lets out a heavy, defeated sigh. "No, it's okay, baby. I understand. Just missed you is all."

Ally smiles a little. "I miss you too."

Jake lets out a happy, little laugh. "Well, I'll let you go for now. I'm sure all your friends want to see you. And I'll also have a surprise for you in about a week," he exclaims with excitement. "I love you, Ally."

And her smile fades. "You too," and she hangs up.

The brunette lets out a loud groan, shoving her head in her hands.

"'You too?'" a voice asks from the doorway with an embarrassed laugh. "Really?"

Ally jumps, startled. Looking over, she finds Dez staring at her. "Dez. How did you get in here?" She crinkles her eyebrows.

The redhead sighs at his best friend. "The door was unlocked. I knocked a few times, but you didn't answer. I figured you were just up here."

She nods.

"The most important thing here is, though, why are you with this guy? You don't love him," Dez says bluntly.

"You don't know that."

He gives her a knowing look, but doesn't fight it. "Ally, what you're doing isn't fair to Austin. Or Jake. Or yourself."

Ally bites her lip and avoids her best friend's eyes.

"Ally," Dez repeats.

"I know," Ally says finally. "I know."

"So?"

"So, I don't know. I don't know what to do," she groans loudly, slamming the keys on the piano.

"Write a song. Break up with your boyfriend. Be with Austin. Write Austin a letter. Tell Austin you love him," Dez offers multiple suggestions, shrugging.

* * *

It takes another entire day before Ally finally musters up the courage to face Austin again but she's doing it.

She's walking up his door steps and she's knocking on his front door.

And the second her small fist pounds the door, the brunette is filled with fear and she's immediately turning on her heel to run back to her car.

"You left once without saying anything," Austin's voice makes the petite woman jump. "Don't do it again."

His words come off in a joking tone, but Ally just knows he means it.

She finally turns around and she looks at him. Really looks at him.

His blonde hair is slightly disheveled, like he had just woken up. His hazel eyes are big and bright. His ripped jeans hang slightly off of his hips. And his shirt is wrinkled, but Ally still thinks he looks cute.

"Austin," Ally breaths out heavily.

"Yes?" Austin takes a few steps closer to her. "What's up? Or do you just want to tell me why you went M.I.A. for a week?" he cocks a bushy brow, stepping closer.

"I owe you an explanation. At least as to why I'm still here. Why I came back."

"I'm listening," is all he says.

"I know I made a mistake leaving you. I know I made a mistake getting with Jacob. I know Baltimore was a mistake all together, despite how much I do love snow. I know coming back was probably a bigger mistake. And I know what I'm about to do is probably a mistake and it will only complicate things further, but I'm doing it because coming back here only made me realize that I am still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you, Austin Moon," and he doesn't have much time to reply because she places her hands on his shoulders and stands on the tips of her toes and she kisses him.

She kisses him for the second time in the passing years and she feels seventeen all over again and she feels like nothing can stop her.

And she pushes thoughts of Baltimore and Jake out of her mind just for now, although she knows she needs to handle it, and she will. But for now, she can just think of one thing.

Austinaustinaustinaustin

And Austin kisses back without even a second of hesitation because damn, had he missed her lips on his. He had kissed his fair share of women in the years post-Ally but oh, god, none of them felt like this.

And he knows she still has a boyfriend back in Maryland and he doesn't know how she will handle that or if she even will, but he ignores that for now.

And he realizes in this moment that she's not at all perfect in any way, but she's Ally Dawson and that's all he ever wanted her to be.

So he keeps kissing her.


	10. chapter nine

"You did what?" one of Austin's newer friends, one he had acquainted during post-Ally years, Sadie, stands in front of her blonde friend, her brown eyes wide with shock. "You kissed Ally Dawson? The Ally Dawson that left you with no explanation when you were teenagers?"

Austin rolls his hazel eyes with annoyance. "Yes. We kissed. She said she was in love with me. The end."

"She has a boyfriend, Austin."

"I know."

"Austin, I don't think you understand what you're getting yourself into," Sadie warns.

"Sadie, I don't think you understand that it's none of your god damn business," Austin nearly shouts at his friend, slamming his hands on the piano keys on front of him.

The blonde's friend is taken aback by his sudden cold demeanor, but she tries to remember that this is Ally Dawson they're talking about and although Sadie had never personally met Ally, she had heard enough about her to know she was sort of a big deal.

But that didn't mean Sadie was going to allow Austin be rude to her, just because she was looking out for him. "'Kay, Austin," the girl rolls her eyes. "When she breaks your heart, don't come crying to me."

And his best friend starts making her way to the door of their make-do practice room when she suddenly hears a muffled, "Wait".

She spins around, her ginger locks whipping across her pale skin. "What?"

"I... I'm sorry, Sade.." he furrows his brows, using the old nickname he'd coined for her. "She's just... she's here. And I don't know how long it's going to be before she leaves again."

"I get it. Austin, I really do," Sadie nods, pursing her pink lips together and smoothing out her green top. "But you need to realize that you not knowing when she's going to leave is the issue."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know that she's here and it's all great and it's all wonderful and beautiful and magical. But Ally still has a life back in Baltimore. She still has a boyfriend. So, maybe she came here to make amends and make it right, but she's also back again and she's stringing you along again," Sadie shrugs, taking another step towards her best friend. "And you're letting her do it, Austin."

Austin opens his mouth to speak, but it's like his brain has shut off because he doesn't know what to say or how he feels, because he knows Sadie's right. He's letting Ally toy with him, whether she realizes she's doing it or not, and he's completely okay with it, because, really, Austin would rather her use him than have her leave again.

* * *

It's when Ally's laying on her hotel bed, scrolling through web page after web page on her laptop when her phone starts ringing like crazy.

"Hello?" she answers, scrunching her nose.

"Hey, babe; it's me!" an all too familiar voice calls cheerily through the line.

No. No. No. No. Dammit. Shit. Damn it. Damn everything.

"H-hey, Jake," she replies hesitantly. "Guess what, Ally!" Jake doesn't notice the uncertainty in his long time girlfriend's voice.

Before she can reply, he says the one thing she feared the most. "I'm here in Miami! To see you!"

Her eyes wide and she's suddenly happy that he's not in front of her, because she'd be screwed. "Y-yay," she swallows hard.

"I'm at the airport right now and I'm not too sure how to navigate my way around Miami. So, I was thinking you could meet me up here and we could get something to eat. And maybe you could introduce me to your family or friends?" he asks, hope pouring in his words.

Ally's heart breaks in half at how happy her boyfriend is at the thought of seeing her and all she had been doing for a week is thinking about Austin and kissing Austin. "Yeah. I'm on my way. See you soon, Jacob."

"Alright. I love you."

She nods and without a reply, she hangs up.

* * *

Ally's driving around the city of Miami in her rental car and blaring the radio, trying to avoid the thoughts clouding her mind.

Jake.

Austin.

Ja-

Austinaustinaustinaustin.

And it's when she hears the radio host say a specific name that she finally stops her thoughts. Halting at a red light, she turns the radio up.

"So, we are honored to be the first radio station to play Austin Moon's newest single, 'Red'. And before the premiere of the song, we've got the blonde superstar on the phone right now to give us some backstory to this song!" the man's voice booms. "How ya doin', Austin?"

"I'm doing alright, Ricky. Thanks! I'm just really excited for everyone to finally hear this song. I started writing it about a month ago, but I finally got some, uh... inspiration to finish it recently. And I just can't wait to have everyone hear it," an excited Austin practically yells on his line of the phone call.

Ally shifts uncomfortably in the leather seat as the traffic light turns green. The brunette didn't want to seem self-centered, but "recently" she had returned in Miami. Did that have something to do with this song?

"We're excited to be playing it for you!" Ricky yells back. "So, tell us, why'd you choose the color red? Any significance? You've released a few clips of the song and everyone's been wondering if the color is negative, positive, or what."

Austin sighs a heavy sigh. "In one of the teaser clips, a line says, 'Loving her was red. Remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes. Tell myself it's time now, I've got to let go. Moving on from her is impossible. I still see it all in my head' and I feel like that part really ties the whole song together.

And I chose red because the color itself is really powerful emotion wise on both ends of the spectrum. Red could mean love or it could mean, you know, anger and such. And the person this song is about... She, uh.. Damn," he laughs nervously.

"We have a rocky past, so I feel it's natural that the color red is how I feel towards her, you know what I mean? I'm really angry at her for the things she's done but at the same time... I'm so crazy about her. And the song itself sounds kind of emotional and miserable, but it's just how I've coped with losing her and her showing up out of nowhere again," Austin confesses to the almost total stranger.

"Sounds surreal," Ricky admits. "So, this girl... You guys together again, or?"

"Oh, uh, no. We're not together again. Maybe we will be in the future," Austin sounds so sure of himself and it gives Ally some hope, because maybe she hasn't screwed it all up just yet. "We, uh... We actually kissed a few days ago and she said she still loved me, so... That was really the inspiration to finish the song. I'm still crazy about her. So, who knows what could happen?" Austin blurts out before he can stop himself and he's instantly regretting opening his mouth.

He's said too much. Way too much.

"Sounds like it's going good then, man. What's the lucky girl's name?"

And he can't stop himself because her name rolls off his tongue so easily now.

"Ally Dawson," he spits out. Ally's eyes widen. Dammit. "So, Ally, this one's for you. It's called 'Red'. Hope you like it," Austin's voices finishes as the song's intro begins and Ally's hanging on to every word.

Because, oh, wow. She messed up a lot, but Austin just admitted on national airwaves that he's still crazy about her?

* * *

The brunette reaches the airport and she races into the terminal and almost immediately spots Jacob.

She runs towards him, plastering a big grin on her face, but the closer she gets, the more... angry he looks.

Ally stops in her tracks when she's about two feet away from him.

"What's... what's wrong?"

Jake's normally friendly eyes are stone cold and his mouth is a straight line. "I thought you came out here just to visit friends and family. And you let me believe that was what was happening!" he practically shouts, causing some bystanders to look in their direction.

"What are you talking about?" Ally takes a step back, her voice shaking.

"I was getting kind of bored waiting around. So, I took out my phone, plugged some ear buds in and decided to listen to the radio."

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

"Some radio host talking about dropping some guy's new single. Nothing weird, I thought. I could go for some new music. Maybe I could show Ally if it's good!" he throws his bag on the ground angrily. "It turns out, though, I won't need to tell Ally about the song, because it's about Ally!" Jake lets out a bitter, cold laugh.

"And this guy is talking about they kissed a few days ago! And Ally told him that she loves him and always has! And he's just as crazy about her! And maybe they're gonna be together soon!" he's yelling louder now and Ally has tears falling down her cheeks.

"Jacob... I... I didn't come here for any of that to happen. I came here to apologize to him for leaving him when he needed me!" she tries to defend herself, but she knows that at this point, it's no use.

"I paid hundreds of dollars to make this fucking flight here. To see you. Because I love you, dammit. Because I hated not seeing you! And I thought you loved me, Ally. But I guess I was just some sort of rebound for the past few years while you got over this fuck face in Miami, huh?" he's fuming.

And Ally's too scared to argue back, because based on his excessive use of the "f word", he's pretty angry.

"It was never like that."

"You know what... Forget it. Forget all of it. Forget the past few years we had with each other. It meant nothing to you anyways, right?" Jake scoffs, disgusted. "I'm going to catch a flight out of here as soon as possible. Whenever you're done fucking this guy behind my back, you can come and get your shit out of my house. I'll pack it all up for you."

Ally bites her lip, a sob begging to escape, because this wasn't how this was supposed to end.

She did love Jacob; she really did. And she was trying to figure it all out. And no, it doesn't justify what's happened, but she made a mistake and she was willing to fix it.

"Jake, please... just hear me out. None of it is like it seems, I promise," Ally's chest hurts and her heart is in pain.

"After all l learned today - from national radio, at that, not even from you - your word means nothing to me. Fuck off, Alyson," he uses her full name, his words dripping with venom.

And with that, he grabs his bag off the ground and walks away from her.

And suddenly, Ally feels all alone all over again.


	11. chapter ten

Austin's sitting on the bench of his grand piano, writing a new song and thinking about a certain brunette and lyrics haven't flowed this well out of him since before he could remember.

And this is a new, unfamiliar feeling but all he knows it that Ally's back and she's his and she's still here and-

A loud, abrupt knock on his front door stops his thoughts.

Furrowing his bushy brows, Austin gets up and ambles towards the door, wondering who it could possibly be.

He swings the door open and is faced with aforementioned brunette. "Oh. Hey, Als!" he exclaims cheerily with a big grin.

"Don't you even "hey, Als!" me. I'm so beyond pissed at you, Austin Moon," she says in angry tone, taking him aback.

"I'm sorry?" he looks at her with a confused expression as she shoves him out of the doorway.

"You ruined everything!" Ally shouts and now she's caught the blonde's attention.

And now that she's in better light, he can see that she's been crying. Her usually full of life, big, brown eyes are bloodshot and puffy.

"Excuse me?" Austin puts his hands up in mock defense. "What the hell did I do to you?"

"You practically told the whole world I said I was in love with you! And that we kissed!"

"So? It's true," Austin replies shortly, still not understanding why the short brunette was so beyond angry with him.

"I have a boyfriend, Austin!" she screams. "Or I had one. Not anymore, thanks to you."

And now it's Austin's turn to be pissed off. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

She cocks a brow at her ex-boyfriend.

"I knew you had a boyfriend. You told me the first day I saw you. I thought after that kiss... After that... that whole moment we had, where you said you still loved me, you would have dumped him!"

"Why the hell would you think that?!" she's screaming and she's fuming and her face is red. "I love Jake! I wanted to be with him! But you ruined it! You ruined everything!"

Austin lets out a bitter, sadistic laugh. "I can't believe I ever thought you changed. I stood up for you to the people who laughed at me for letting you come back into my life when you gave me no reason to! I thought you had finally changed after all these years. But you're still the same, sad, pathetic little girl you were when we were seventeen. And you're still running away from your problems."

"Excuse me?" Ally's voice is practically daring the blonde to repeat his words. "And what exactly is the problem?"

"That you still love me. You're scared that I want to be with you again and-"

She scoffs. "Why the hell would that scare me?"

"Because you want to be with me too."

She stops in her tracks, taken aback by his bluntness, but she quickly comes back to her anger. "You ruined... everything."

Ally's crying now, full sobs choking out of her throat. Her small fists slam into his hard chest over and over.

Austin grabs his fists and pulls her closer.

He whispers, "You did this to yourself, Ally."

At first, she thinks his words are meant to be sadistic. But then he adds, "I'm just trying to help you make sense of it all."

"This isn't fair!" she yells. "I had everything! I had a good job, a nice house, a boyfriend who loved me... I was living in my dream city... and you messed it all up!" she's still hitting his chest.

Austin grabs her tiny fists and holds them in his large hands. "You can't keep blaming me for this, Ally. You did this to yourself."

"He said that..." a sob breaks out, "...that when I was done..." she squeezes her eyes shut, more tears falling, because it almost physically hurts to think about Jake's words, "that, when I was done screwing you behind his back... that I could come back to Baltimore and get my stuff and that he would have it all packed for me. Austin, I... I literally lost everything.."

Austin doesn't know what to say, so he just sits there in silence.

"I screwed everything up again, Austin!" She finally cracks and her sobs are loud and long and she suddenly feels Austin's muscular arms wrap around her petite waist and pull her into his chest, holding on to the brunette tightly.

And, yeah, he's beyond angry at her, because she had made a mistake and then had the audacity to blame him for it.

But he knows she's hurt, because as much as it hurt him, he knew she did love Jake, despite whether or not she loved Austin. And he thinks he has a pretty good idea as to how she feels.

"It's okay. You're gonna be okay," he whispers into her hair. "We're going to be okay," he says without thinking.

And Ally says her next words low enough to where Austin knows he wasn't meant to hear them.

"I love you."

And this time is different from when she had confessed the same thing before. Her voice is sincere and her words are real.

But Austin's not really ready to feel that for her, even though he knows he never stopped loving her, and he's not ready to say the words out loud, because he's not sure if loving her is a good idea.

,I know you do," he rests his chin on a top of her head. "I know."


	12. chapter eleven

Austin and Ally are sitting in Austin's practice room, in silence for the most part. And occasionally, Austin would ask a question and Ally would reply shortly and then follow suit by playing a short melody on the piano in front of them.

Not being able to bare the silence much longer, Austin pulls out a sheet of paper from the drawer of the side table next to him.

He places it in front of the piano and he plays a few notes, Ally playing other notes from this song, who's title she can't see quite clearly because Austin's handwriting is a bit small and the lead seems smudged a bit.

"I miss your touch. I miss the late nights. I wish you would have never gotten on that plane," Austin's singing and he looks over at Ally, who swallows hard and avoids the hazel eyes boring into her at all costs. "Did you get scared or did I love you too much? I guess that's why they call it a runaway."

And he stops singing, but he's still staring at her and pressing down on the keys.

And Ally is still playing her own notes and memorizing the sheet music in front of her. Squinting her eyes, she can finally read the name of the song. Ally's Song.

"Austin, I..." Ally stops playing and finally looks over at the blonde next to her. But once she meets his eyes, she doesn't seem to know how to speak.

"Yeah?" he encourages.

"Maybe this..." she stops herself again, biting her lip hard. "Maybe this isn't a good idea. Me and you. One of us is going to get hurt."

"Me and you? We're not really doing anything?" She stands abruptly, taking the singer next to her aback.

"I'm sorry. I need to go," she nods, as if confirming it to herself. "Goodbye. Austin."

And with those words, she rushes out the door and stumbles a bit trying to escape the house that suddenly has her feeling suffocated.

And Austin sort of sits there in silence for a second before processing all that has just happened.

And all that he knows for sure is that "goodbye, Austin" sounds anything but good.

So, he does the one thing he wishes he had done a better job of all those years ago. He launches up from his seat and chases after her.

He swings his front door open just as the brunette is trying to get into her vehicle.

Jumping off of the wooden porch, Austin calls out, "Ally, wait!"

And Ally stops abruptly, but she doesn't turn around. Not yet.

"You can't do this to me again," his words are hesitant and cautious. "You can't come here and... And just try to leave like this again."

"Austin, this isn't a good idea. Someone's going to get hurt," she says, but she's still not facing him.

"Who cares, Ally? Who the hell cares?" Now he's throwing his hands up in the air because he's so tired of getting her so close and having her push him away. "I lost you once. I think I could do it again. So, what are you so scared of?"

Her brown hair whips across her reddened cheeks as she turns around. "Why are you not scared?"

Austin stumbles over his own words for a few seconds. "Because it's... It's me and you. I've never been so sure of something in my life. Even now."

And the tears are falling from her doe eyes again and Austin swears he can hear his heart breaking at that very second. Ally shakes her head. "Why didn't you come after me? I would have come home if you found me, I think."

And Austin's almost completely appalled that she has the audacity to even ask that question, but he lets it slide. "I did. I tried so hard to find you. I tried finding you for two years, Ally. But you obviously didn't want me to find you. And that hurts enough. So.. Please don't pretend like you wanted me to."

They're standing a decent distance apart, but Ally feels so close to him again. "I... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

"I know."

A beat passes.

"You know, they say there's two distinct people in your lifetime. The first love. And the first person who breaks your heart," Austin swallows hard. "Funny how mine ended up being the same person, I guess."

Ally bites her lip hard and looks away from the blonde in front of her. Austin goes on as if what he's just said didn't happen. "I have a show tonight. It's nothing big, I don't think. An acoustic show. It's at this small cafe/bookstore in the city. I'm gonna be playing some new songs. You should come. You could go with Dez and Trish," he nods.

When she doesn't answer right away, he cocks a bushy brow. "Okay?"

And she nods along with him. "Okay."

He's not sure if that means she's coming or not, but he'll take it.

She's not sure if the small smile tugging at Austin's lips is a good sign or not, but she'll take it.


End file.
